Yes it is true, even the cutest kids can be mean. Lily begins Kindergarten in a few weeks and the thoughts have crossed my mind about the type of kid I was in school. As I walk down the halls at St. Mary’s I think back to my time there and how I may have acted towards others. Let me just begin by saying that I have a horrible memory and really there is no way that I am going to remember everything I said or did when I was a kid but I am sure I wasn’t always an angel 100% of the time. I am sure that other kids were mean to me too, but that is just part of growing up.
I was in elementary and junior high during the 80′s and that was a time where I got a lot of my influence from T.V. and soap operas, I swear! I watched Days of Our Lives and General Hospital every day after school with my grandmother and often with my girlfriends and I watch Dynasty and Dallas and on the occasion Knots Landing with my mom. I did see Luke and Laura get married as well, yes I am that old. So of course me being the young impressionable kid thought that life was like soap operas, and I was a bit snooty at times and may have not been nice to some other girls in my class. I don’t remember exactly what I ever said or did but I just know that I wasn’t nice sometimes. Ok, Ok, there is one time that I remember and I get teased about it still. My friend (still to this day) Kathy was the ‘new girl’ in school. I went up to her and said “Do you want to be my friend? I only ask once”. Seriously, that is what I said, OMG I would be so sad if someone said that to Lily.
Our class was such a group of naughty kids though, they even sent in one of the priest to have a ‘talk’ with us about having ‘bad bones’ in our bodies which made us commit sins. He even referred to a soap opera character Savannah on Days of Our Lives.
You see, my parents split when I was in 2nd grade so my mom raised me and life was a little tough, I probably should have been in counseling or something like that but I never was. So not being able to resolve my feelings in a healthy manner resulted in not so nice behavior towards others.
Today I got some ‘payback’ from the universe. A little girl at Lily’s school was mean to her, and it hurt me to hear her tell me about it. Just seeing her little face upset was enough to make me tear up a little bit and think about the mean things I may have said to other kids when I was younger.
I am hoping, no I am praying that Lily has a good experience in school, and that the universe doesn’t punish me through her by having kids be mean to her. =( At her school I have to complete some parent participation hours and I keep thinking of all the people I am going to be working with now, was I mean to them? Do they hold a grudge? Am I going to be placed on the worst jobs ever for parent participation because of it?
I swear though life is tough enough for me already, really it is. My life certainly hasn’t turned out exactly the way that I wanted it to but I am trucking along trying to make the most of it. I did however marry the man of my dreams and he has given me two beautiful daughters. I am exhausted every day and I am a haggard stay at home mom who works at night to make ends meet. My clothes are not fancy, and I don’t drive a fancy car, I weigh more than I would like and I don’t always wear makeup….but I am a nice person and I try my best to take care of my girls first and then myself. I am not the girl I was so many years ago. Maybe my life not turning out the way I wanted is my ‘punishment’ for being mean, who knows but when life hands you lemons then make lemonade and I’ve got lots of lemonade, pink of course.

•Hearing:


shirt on backwards and worn it outside of the house that way, and today I put my yoga pants on the wrong way and started to walk out of the house but noticed my error. Often, I forget what I am going to say or can’t remember why I came into a room. I often leave the house with the girls and have to come back in to get something, not once but twice. Sometimes I feel like a drunk! Oh how I wish for a nice cold beer or a rum and diet coke, but that pesky breastfeeding stops me from consuming alcohol.
going to be. Later in the day she even spit up down my back and it landed on the carpet at The Little Gym, awesome. I tried to get her down for a nap the entire afternoon and she would fall asleep but then wake up a few minutes later. That tells me that something is bothering her and I think that she is going through a growth spurt as she will be 3 months old in a few days.

take landscape photographs. I have been to San Francisco and my heart was pumping faster when I was taking photographs of the Golden Gate Bridge. I really enjoyed taking those photographs and want to do more of it.
























